red cocktail dresses

you remind me of those women,
the ones with curled eyelashes and thick
eyeliner
and
tight red cocktail dresses,
who
look up at boys
with pale moon eyes.

but

my dreams are shrouded in white fumes
of last year's chemical reaction,
and i wish my hands would
stop
trembling.

so

when i listen to the rustling
city,
its hustling clocks
and yellow cabs,
i wonder if you still love me,
the way we should
love one another,
but only sinners shed
tears.

i wonder how long you've lied
for me,
because my seams are opening,
and my pulse is
beating.

and i'm worried
i'll be one of those women,
drowning in their
cocktail dresses.